Thoughts: Like My Turtles

I took home my new pets this afternoon—a pair of baby turtles named Lemon and Lime. I got my first pair of green turtles in 2001. I called them Nathan and Roselle, in honor of my valedictorian friends from UP and Ateneo.

It’s a joy watching them turtles. Sometimes I even envy them, for they speak to me of God’s magnificence just by being. I mean, I wish I could say that about me. I wish people can see God in me even if I don’t open my mouth or do anything spectacular. I met a person like that once and I don’t think I have fully recovered from that encounter.

One time I brought my pet amphibians to work. I was then with a company that understood eccentricities like mine. “Huwag ka maalaga ng pagong, babagal ang buhay mo (These turtles will make your life slow),” an officemate warned. I brushed his unwanted comment aside and branded it superstition. But many months later, I discovered that the pace of my life had indeed slowed down.

I resigned from my job to look for more opportunities to spread my wings, but I found myself stuck in a tight spot, and strangely enough, not even really wanting to budge. And like my turtles, I have become content spending my days lazing around in the comfy confines of my house. Sometimes I wonder if the drive to go back to the rat race will ever return. Perhaps I’m not meant to be a harassed rat but a happy turtle.


Photo: Lemon & Lime (3-17-05)

Paula White said that God sometimes shuts doors to give us time to rest, replenish our strength, and restore our passion in preparation for greater things. I want to believe that this is what this break is for. In the months that I’ve spent at home, I did learn a few things about myself. As a workaholic, I’d subconsciously equated my significance with how much I’d achieved, but God showed me that my worth is far more than my accomplishments and what I do for a living. My identity is ultimately rooted in my relationship with Him.

Second, I learned that I don’t need to be in church or to serve in a ministry to worship God. I can give glory to Him even while doing the most mundane of chores, like cleaning my aquarium and baking bibingka. I just have to do these chores with Him in mind. Third, I learned that God’s grace is sufficient for every season of our lives. I’d always thought I’d go crazy if I stayed home for more than 2 weeks. Well, it’s been more than 62 weeks and this entry is testament to the fact that I am still sane. I am still coherent, am I not?

Because of this self-imposed confinement, I finally found the time to organize my closets, arrange 4-years worth of pictures, attend prayer meetings, take up writing essays again, have 5-day slumber parties with friends, bond with the family, experiment with baking, and travel at whim. Best of all, I shed close to 10 pounds without spending a single hour in the gym! It’s been a fun-filled one-and-a-half-year vacation, all paid for by my Heavenly Father.

I know it’s going to end soon. I just hope I get my wish of becoming more like my turtles at the end of this.